Every now and then reevaluation of one’s life is a good idea. There are probably tools for measurement of this sort of thing available in the corporate world, created by those who enjoy spreadsheets and data. I, however, am not a part of that system. Because I have returned to spending my days caring for the youngest students at a small private school, I have decided to base my self-evaluation on the expected social competencies for preschool children, as listed in an article posted by a preschool teacher.

Playing well with others. 

If you’ve read my previous blog posts, this idea may be up for discussion. Because I am fiercely independent and hold to my own way of doing things, I can correctly be categorized as not playing well with my peers on occasion, and yet it is at the core of my being to attempt to create harmony and peaceful environments wherever I go. If by playing well with others it means allowing anyone to say or do whatever he or she wishes to me without any response, well then no, I have failed at this. But if it means cooperation among equals toward a shared goal, count me in. We are all invited to participate in life. We each have our own voice.

Problem-solving.

I am one of the most resourceful people you will ever know. I learned this skill from my mother who taught me to make the most of whatever I had, even when I didn’t have much. Especially then. In this way I have been able to solve all sorts of problems. I knew from the start of my business that the materials would direct my creativity, and this has been the case for the past 12 years. When fabric, buttons, and thread, often given to me by those cleaning out closets, meet my thought processes about what is possible, art happens. Solving problems by thinking through them first and taking action second is generally a good idea. Unless you are an artist, and the thinking and the doing merge.

Labelling and recognizing feelings.

Most of the time I feel pretty good about life, although I will admit to needing a good cathartic cry every once in a while. Seems to bring things back into balance. I often hold back my truest feelings if I am uncertain about whether the expression of those feelings will mean that I am not playing well with others or that I should be solving my problems a different way. As a child I learned that expressing my feelings was best done in my journal. As a grown-up I would rather communicate through writing than in person. That way I can let the words do the talking while I drink coffee and look out the window.

Being helpful.

My earliest memories have to do with helping others. I had two younger sisters to look out for and being helpful was expected in my household. It isn’t just doing a task but in having an attitude in which one is willing to help anyone in need. I’ve always done whatever I could to help those around me. I’ve tried to instill this value in my own children as well as in the children in my classroom. It encourages a child when someone notices a helpful act. It helps grown-ups, too. I know what it is like to feel that there is no one to help me and I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. We are helped by helping.

Controlling my impulses.

This is a time and place issue. In public I have learned to behave myself in order to be an upstanding member of society. In the privacy of my workroom, however, my impulses are set free so I can express myself wherever my writing or art takes me. I take risks I would not naturally take. I explore my feelings and thoughts. I allow myself to feel the emotions I cannot share with others if I am to play well with them, and I solve whatever problems are before me. Those who are not able to control their impulses end up in rehab or as writers or artists. Whatever works.

As I take this deep breath before plunging into a new blog, I hope my words will reflect whatever is on my heart in a truthful, thoughtful way and that you may then give your response, as you are able. We were not meant to navigate this life alone. We do better in community, upholding each other in all of our differences–together.